Communities coming together require a delicate balance of honor, honesty, and integrity, and wait for it.
Self-control! Have you ever been to a community meeting where emotions crept up? Suddenly, one raised their voice, another interrupted, and chaos ensued. In a blink, the prayer, the pledge to our flag, and the goal of achieving growth and change have become all about one person's feelings over another.
I like Bryant Hansen's Unoffendable quote, "Few want to hear this, but it's true, and it can be enormously helpful in life: if you're constantly being hurt, offended or angered, you should honestly evaluate your inflamed ego."
Enflamed ego.Hmmm. As I think about this, I reflect on my life when I went through seasons of enflamed ego. When we have leaders of companies, communities, or even nations, the consequences of enflamed egos can grow exponentially painful, and the real growth the community was hoping for is diminished. It can never be about one or a few people's ideas or feelings.
But what if leaders consciously decided not to be offended and focused on the community's goal rather than their own or anyone else's preference?
Many of us do not factor in emotional intelligence (EI). Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others (Emotional Quotient EQ) (Mental Health America Inc, 2025). I can spend a whole series on this topic. Still, for today's discussion, we must understand that there is a delicate balance between bringing communities together and having our emotional intelligence. Self-control is key.
As a woman of faith, I gain self-control by reading scripture and praying. I have seen miracles happen in my own life when I lay down my preferences and seek God for a higher purpose—His ways.
Of course, that is my personal experience. Yet, each of us needs to come to the table, share our lived experiences, and seek the good of the community. What can each of us share to better our communities? What can we leave behind?
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